Vilcabamba - Podocarpus National Park - Loja - Zamora: 09/05 - 14/05

My first impression of Vilcabamba was that it was a complete new-age hippy fest. Chakra re-alligning, rolfing and pranic breath workshops sat alongside expensive gringo run and frequented cafes with names like Cosmos. There was a Raw Food Festival on when I arrived which meant the aforementioned cafes were full of mainly American hippies basically just talking about food ('I can't eat sweet fruits, just sour ones') and in some cases taking time out of the hectic schedule to roll another rollie - local organic tobacco of course.

On the first day I visited my friend Peter who I met in Quito and had offered me a recently closed bar position at his hostelresort. I then headed for Mandango Mountain on a complete weed-fest of a trail up an eroded but spectacular ridge line with great views of the valley and township. It had been a long while between drinks for Jesus porn and me, so at the top I was inspired to make my own. Please note the real crown of thorns. I don't intend offense to the big J-dog in the sky or those that hold him dear, but definitely a big skyward middle finger to all the trippers that have and continue to cause fear, destruction of culture and death in his name. Ahh, I love a blog, I can rant as much as I want! * Note > please don't copy or distribute my high-quality erotica as I do not wish it to end up on the Christian home-porn web-site, J-tube.

I charged on to finish quickly but took the wrong ridgeline and soon found myself staring down an ultra-steep descent on both sides and directly in front of me, barely navigable with such dusty, crumbling soil. I made it though, continuing on to soon find a true 90 degree cliff this time. I had to switchback slowly across, around and down to get back to the ridgeline, then jogged through the thorny African weeds to reach the road.

That evening I ran into Umberto and Layla from Madrid who I'd met in Cuenca and together with Laura from Belgium we organised to hike the waterfall circuit near town the next day. This turned out to be quite difficult to follow and we eventually gave up, instead settling for a swim in the icy river and almuerzo at Little Italy. Anna and Niall had arrived from Cuenca the night after me and we caught up one morning for coffee before they set off for the waterfalls (after each hiring a whole horse) and I for Podocarpus National Park.

The walk was about 22km all up apparently and with an altitude change of 2500m up and down was quite a strong day. Once through boring Vilcabamba town I ascended through shit weeds and farmland for a good few hours. The vegetation eventually turned to fire-altered native scrub. The day was clear and ht and I pushed myself to get to the shade of the forest-line, which never came until right at the end. There were some nice views into the park but all in all it was another disappointing day - in my opinion Vilcabamba is well over-rated in terms of natural beauty. After 4.5 hrs of caning it I arrived at the park boundary where the vegetation immediately became beautiful cool cloud-forest. I chilled at the little refuge there for a few hours, including lunching, meeting Fernando from Spain (yes, I have again taken up the huge challenge of trying to understand rapid and blurred Spanish from Spaniards) and his guide and a lush waterfall swim to wash off the sweat and exploring the few trails available in the park. The vegetation and colours in the forest were amazing. After taking some more sun I ran and rock-stepped back the looong descent from whence I came to Vilcabamba before being sold an humita, moist warm corny stuff with cheese inside. Mmm, choclo con queso!

After an expensive but yummy Mexican dinner with Niall and Anna that evening, we caught up again briefly in this morning before departing, they to Peru and I to the other jungly side of Podocarpus NP near Zamora. Bye Niall and Anna, nice hanging out with you! The bus transfer in Loja was quick and easy but the subsequent bus to Zamora made me feel like I was in Peru again - stuffy and hot because of cold-fearing locals, blaring cumbia music and a crazy irresponsible driver. But while being quite torturous it was simultaneously beautifully scenic at times driving through the National Park and steep jungle clad valleys. Upon arrival with travel headache I walked around in circles to eventually find a quite useless Environment Department, had lunch (next to some psycho-looking husband monologuing at his wife who stared off with vacant eyes while holding the baby - ahhhh, life´s good) and then hiked out the 7km to the park. It was a beautiful walk in the afternoon sun into the rainforest alongside the raging river and past pretty waterfalls. But hang on, some of that land could´ve been farmed... What are you doing Ecuador¿ You´ve failed in your mission to deforest and farm every possible skeric of terrain possible in your country... For shame!!

Lake Toreadora - Cuenca - Loja - Vilcabamba: 09/05 - 10/05

I turned towards Cuenca and continued my trek down the road. A públic bus refused my outstretched hand like it should´nt´ve, and I of course resented the tirade of passing new 4wd´s until one stopped to give me a lift - albeit in the tray. As I jumped in like a deliriously crazed mutt I felt a crunch against the tray from where my camera was in my pocket.

STOP PRESS: It has been reported that there is a new ´Bermuda Triangle´ - this one appears to suck camera batteries into its evil vortex. It is situated in the Ecuador/northern Peru region between Tarapoto in Peru and Cayambe and Cuenca in Ecuador. Three batteries so far have been reported missing and/or stolen or broken. This has caused serious concern and of course financial setback to the previous owners but more intriguing to the victim is what´s the source of this mysteriously powerful epicentre of dark magic.

The wind and my saturated clothes kept me cold and shivering the whole way back to the town centre where I gratefully jumped out - I considered myself lucky to survive two things that day... hypothermia and that dude´s Indy 500 cornering. Although back in mild Cuenca I still shook and trembled uncontrollably on the way back to the hostel where (all former bitterness forgiven) I revived with my longest hot shower in recent history. It had been the most challenging weather I´d ever experienced while in the wilderness and I felt well and truly over the high mountains of Ecuador.

I soon discovered the ´crunch´ I´d heard when mounting the ute was the collision of my camera battery and the tray and it was dead. Charger? No. Camera? No. Unrevivable. Cest la vie but jeez they´re not cheap. So I packed for leaving for Vilcabamba late the next day, when I processed photos, sent parcels and ate more pan de yuca con yogurt.

Note (also a true story): The aforementioned dead battery I had left to the evil of the Triangle, but decided to try my own magic, praying to the purest source I knew, the Elves of Middle-earth. "May the light of Eärendil guide you." were my words. A few moments later the camera sprang to life! A miracle; and proof that the power of the Elves and the Three Rings still endures in Middle-earth and will prevail over such malditions as the cursed ´Bermuda Triangle´.

The bus journey to Loja was long and I finally got to see a non-Hollywood film, Robert Rodriguez´s ´El Mariachi´. In the early evening we arrived in pretty, clean and modern Loja and I ate and changed buses to head to Vilcabamba. The journey was nice even in the dark and I arrived, found a great little hostel including my own luxury room with loft for $9 and crashed it.

Cajas National Park: 07/05 - 09/05

We followed the road to the start of the trail which turned south to climb into the hills. The valley was breathtaking - grey and army green crags of montañitas (small mountains) above of smattering of lakes and lagoons of varying sizes. Cloud forest clothed sheltered mountainsides while the highland grassland and paramo swamps that I had grown so used to was the dominant vegetation.

Cajas is a small park but hosts a range of rarer plants and animals including most of the usual high Andean suspects but also Quichua Hairy Dwarf Porcupine, Striped Hog-nosed Skunk and Grey-bellied Shrew Opossum. The paramo seemed different from my previous hikes - less fungii but more varieties and habits of plants.

Our first days hike was easy being mostly downhill on well-defined trails. Each pass seemed to reveal a more beautiful scene of lakes, mountains and waterfalls. At lunch we took tea cooked on the Brits jet-engine of a cooker - how civilised! Thanks guys :) After our short hike (during which the sun finally defeated the evil clouds and we were treated to a gorgeously warm afternoon) we set camp in an amazing valley surrounded by mountains and waterfalls. It was my first afternoon of decent weather while hiking in Ecuador, and we sat and ate quinoa soup outside while enjoying the evening stars.

Of course the weather didn`t last though with overnight and morning rain. We set out on a day hike down the valley, past magnificent Lake Mamamag, through monkey hippy cloud forest (now with bonus extra Mud!!) to a windy pass to enjoy lunch. Then Niall and Anna returned to camping spotting a brocket deer in the process.

I continued down the hill into the warmer cloud forest with an abundance of bromeliads and more spectacular scenery of high peaks and rushing cascades. It was a slippery, slippery, slippery slope of a descent and actually would have been quite dangerous if I`d had a cumbersome backpack. I eventually arrived at a weed-fest where there were two llamas, saw from afar Lake Lluviaco and tourist cabins and turned back.

I entered training as a professional limbo dancer passing as quickly as possible through the aforementioned muddy cloud forest and managing to really piss myself off by getting calf-deep in sludgery in the process. Later around dinner time it was just a great big sausage-fest.

Again it rained overnight. We packed and set off not knowing what the weather and therefore we would do. I was determined to see Osohuaycu and Luspa, two of the great lakes of the park before I left. So after a morning of hiking through the horizontal spit-fire (or spit-ice, one might say) of the rain, Anna and Niall oriented themselves towards the park exit and Cuenca and I towards the south for the 7hr hike into the heart of the park, promising to return that evening to our hostel.

The well-marked trail and lessening wind lifted my spirits soon after setting off. But then the trail seemed to peter out to drivel and the rain increased from drivel to a strong, sideways near-sleet. Combined with the wind-chill it was icy-cold. Frosty cloud blew by but didn`t dissipate and I was becoming disoriented, drunk and mad with frustration. I knew right then I needed precisely two things - to know where I was and to re-energise with food. But I could not stop anywhere as the rain was omnipresent. As I cursed unknown pre-Colombian gods for lack of shelter, I experienced the full force of Cajas and understood exactly why people had died of exposure there in a park of about 12km diameter. The ground had reached complete saturation meaning that basically the entire place was either rock, river, swamp or lake. It also made trekking with Captain Heavy Pack more treacherous than usual as seemingly solid ground just gave up on life and relocated underfoot. At one point I literally headbutted the ground and ate mud. It`s good for you.

So there I was getting more and more scared and angry by the minute when I finally found it - a sheer cliff of 5m facing south. It provided just enough cover to permit me a rain-free rest, wolfing down chocolate and salami and generally trying to get it together. I checked the map realising I hadn`t gone far astray and when the fog dissipated briefly I saw the path across the valley. I waited a little more to give the weather one more chance to improve but it did not - I defintely had to turn back. I retraced my steps - into the rain this time.

This was a prudent choice as I was very cold and wet and starting to become hypothermic and delirious. At this point dehydration was also a factor because I did not wish to lower my core temperature anymore by drinking ice-cold water and was constantly in a state of expectorating from my nose and mouth, therefore losing a lot of water. I pushed on into the insistent rain and wind on adrenaline autopilot. By the time I finally reached the road I was a stumbling, spitting mud zombie.

Cuenca - Lake Toreadora: 04/05 - 07/05

The next day I went in search of the English couple, Niall and Anna, who had also just arrived in Cuenca. I soon discovered them down by the river, transferred to their hotel and slept a little.

After surviving on sugar for all of Trek de Condhor and then having a few sleepless, coffee-fueled days after that my body finally threw in the towel and permitted several malicious afflictions to attack me at once. To name them would only serve to give them more power; but suffice to say I had to seriously reduce my triple bottom line (Chocolate, Coffee, Sugar) intake. This was difficult in the artsy touristness of Cuenca where there were several gourmet chocolate places and cafes.

However I did explore the old town seeing beautiful architecture and experiencing the lively and vibrant atmosphere. I savored several Ecuadorian specialties like yogurt with pan de yuca, encebollado (tasty fish & onion soup) and morocho (hot & thick spiced milk and corn drink). In one street I saw a whole bunch of folk screaming and fleeing into the streets which I thought was the aftermath of an Ecuadorian `running of the bulls`. The reality was actually quite boring really, just your regular, run-of-the-mill day for the riot police suppressing people`s voices, rights and this transport workers protest. I`m getting pretty used to this type of thing (took some great photos too - thanks for the tip, Dad).

The next day along with Niall and Anna I organised our food for the trek, then I tried to send a parcel to England and amongst other things walked around in a painful, disbelieving haze of withdrawal symptoms. This manifested in a dummy-spit at the staff of our hostel for late, loud music, but to their credit they responded reasonably. I also failed to pack very well at all and generally hated life.

The next day we all combined to manage a tricky public transport mission to the Cajas National Park office where we discovered the special foreigners price of $10 (Ecuadorians - $1.50) entry plus $4 each per night camping - for what? They don`t maintain anything, there are no camping facilities, they just sit on their ·$%& arses all day collecting the gringo bucks. Yes, these were the real Ecuadorian capitalist pigs. So we paid for a night`s camping which we fully intended to comply with.... naaaht.

Lasso - Quito - Cuenca: 01/05 - 04/05

From the Pan American Highway we cruised back directly to the Mariscal, passing other inferiors like a low-flying jet. On the way we learnt that all the Americans worked together at the 180 employee-strong US Embassy - what do they all do¿ We also stopped in to take breakfast at a fancy cafe on the highway but were refused as they were full - "did you have a reservation?" For breakfast?? After gratefully shaking hands and saying goodbye to our saviours Luke and I took breakfast at where else but Kallari, then went our respective ways to recover.

Kelsay had also recently arrived back from jungle adventures and we discussed ways to go hiking in Cajas National Park together near Cuenca. This didn`t end up happening as Kelsey went to hike the more weather-friendly Quilotoa loop instead but in the meantime I dried, cleaned and gave away stuff in preparation to leave Quito.

Several months ago in Chile I had put up a lonely Lonely Planet online message inviting travel companions for my jungle journey to Colombia. A lady named Ali from Queensland answered and expressed interest but our itineraries made it impractical to meet up. However we stayed in touch and finally caught up (along with her friends Mica and Stefan) to have dinner and then try to go up the Telerifiqo cable-car to Pinchicha Volcano the next day. The tickets turned out to be over double the price quoted in the 2009 Lonely Planet - $8.50 - what a rip-off! So we went to Kallari instead. *sheepish smirk* Afterwards we went to a shopping centre and I was asked for my name, passport number and sexual preference to buy a tupperware container!

So the name in this blog, `Yasuni`, refers to the large national park including a Huaorani indigenous reserve in the Oriente (Ecuadorian Amazon) that after reading of in the excellent book ´Savages´ by Joe Kane I was inspired to visit. However, after the heat and sickness of the Peruvian and Colombian jungle lowlands I was a little put off returning there in Ecuador. Furthermore there seemed a lack of independent exploration options and a glut of expensive exploration options. So I didn´t get to Yasuni, but it sure has been an adventure! The closest I got was talking to 2 American students studying Saki monkeys at the most biodiverse research station in the world, Tipituni within the park. Oh, and standing outside the ´Hostal Huaorani´ in the Mariscal.

I said goodbye to Quito and La Posada Del Maple, snapping a few memories before leaving. The breasts belong to a highly-unrealistic bust in Maple - usually these sculptures are created by men. The sign is of the Mariscal bus stop - each stop has a unique silhouette image and I thought this one being a punk was particularly cool.

The bus trip to Cuenca was late, cold and smelt like toilet, but I got to enjoy JCVD in ´Hard Target´ - I heard on the grapevine there was an internal management feud over the name, a serious push being made for ´The Perfect Mullet´. Great film. Once in metropolitan Cuenca I taxied to `El Cafecito` for an easy bunk and was lucky I was tired and could sleep because of loudish music until 3am. Outrageous!

Trek de Condor (El Tambo - Antisana Ecological Reserve - Cotopaxi National Park - Lasso): 27/04 - 01/05

Once in El Tambo I checked our bearings with my brand new compass and we set off, passing farmhouses and trout farms and clambering around irrigation channels, all the while trying to ensure we were on the right side of the Tambo River. We climbed through fences, tripped, fell and stumbled in thick grass and deceptive terrain and trudged some swampland in our afternoon`s hike. The saturated vegetation and intermittent rain combined to completely drench me - with my hands so cold and bad circulation they became numb and almost useless.

Sometime in the first few hours of bush-bashing I realised I`d read the compass the wrong way and we`d started on the wrong side of the river in El Tambo. The track, fences and trout farm we actually not the official Trek de Condhor, but as we would soon find out not much was really. But as an unintended benefit we avoiding paying a $5 `community entrance fee`. Take that, Ecuadorian capitalist pigs.

Cold and wet we arrived at our campsite by Volcano Lake situated at the end of an interesting lava flow maybe 500m wide at our end and several kilometres long which apparently provides habitat for rarer flora like orchids. I discovered that Luke had packed with foresight, bringing such essential bare-bones hiking items like a bottle of Coke, a book and popcorn. He also brought a lot of sweet snacks and extra food which I was glad of as I had packed not expecting to be so cold or wet. After that was the cooking, the eating and the sleeping.

I managed to stay asleep until sunrise when I was awoken by heavy rain. A large fox visited us in the morning before we set off around the lake, crossing another stream and hiking into the paramo, fog and rain. This day was definitely a challenge. The climb into the hills was tiring with our heavy packs at altitude and having saturated shoes made every moment not moving cold and miserable. My hands again caught numb which made simple things like eating and pissing very difficult.

But the main challenge of the day was interpreting our minimal and sometimes major landmark-omitting guide notes and map and finding an trail which at times was obvious but often not there or just a cow track. Throughout the entire trek it was never marked or signed. It was quite distressing at times not knowing our location or even if we had taken a wrong turn several kilometres back and were hopelessly lost. What served us best and got us through in the end however were the clues left by fellow walkers like lolly wrappers, plastic bottles and occasional footprints.

The cloud forest and paramo impressed me once again with its extraordinary diversity of flowers, ferns, mosses, lichen, cushion plants, sedges, grasses and of course fungii. We saw a brocket deer and on the Antisana plain what I think were two condors. Due to the insistent fog and cloud unfortunately we saw very little impressive mountain scenery but upon our eventual arrival at the wide lake valley between the rocky crags of Antisanilla and the awe-inspiring base of Antisana (Ecuador`s 4th highest mountain at approximately 5,800m high) I began to appreciate the hype surrounding this trek.

It was difficult to sleep at above 4000m and we spent a rainless (yay!) night, awaking to a fresh 3 degrees. We packed and headed off with neither rain nor the threat of it and actually got to see the snowline of Antisana. The difficulty of the day`s hike was a complete turn-around from the day before as we marched down jeep tracks on a long easy decline in the pleasant weather. From this section until the end of the hike was basicaly one grand high plateau peppered with majestic snow-capped mountains and smaller ranges above wide paramo valleys. The scenery was grandiose.

The base of distant Cotopaxi soon appeared aswell as our destination for the day, stark Mount Sincholagua with its sheer red cliffs. Due to some issues with landowners we had to take a 2 or 3 hr detour of an alternative route along sealed roads, next to powerlines, past quarries and their trucks and observing hydroelectric dams. The Trek de Condhor may have impressive mountain scenery but it certainly isn`t a true wildernesss experience.

Eventually we turned west into a wide swamp valley and followed the electricity to another smaller valley with a community of maybe 10 humans and 74 dogs. Asking directions of the thick-accented campesinos didn`t help much so we just followed our noses, climbing about 400m up a steep high ridge. This turned out to be the wrong valley as we were able to observe from such heights so we bit the bullet and descended over thick tussocks and steep creek-banks as the crow flies towards Shutog Creek. By this time we were exhausted after about 23km of trekking including some steep ascents.

But from our guide notes we still had a way to go and soldiered on towards unseen Sincholagua. When we finally arrived at my desired but slightly impractical camping area we were knackered and ready to drop. Then it rained. Up until that point during the day we had had comparitively good weather with blue sky and occasionally even sunshine, and I thought this rain would be like the earlier rain, wafting away as soon as it had started. No. Slowly at first then rather heavily, but always freezing cold, the rain drenched us, our gear and the tent as we reluctantly pitched camp.

What a fantastic way to end the day... naaart! Rather peeved, I was. Oh well, we had arrived and were out of the rain which didn`t pull up for a few hours.

I woke to early light but was a little confused as it was only 530am, half an hour before sunrise. After exiting the tent I saw our beautiful hidden valley and mountain illuminated by the full moon against an almost completely clear sky. Then as dawn broke Antisana emerged from the cloud to reveal itself properly for the first time.

That day our goal was `to climb out of Shutog Creek`. Easier said than done. An endless marshland followed by a steep ascent into and over thick wet grass and shrubberies was enough to make me almost lose the plot, despite it being our first challenge of the day.

We hiked up, rested, hiked again, rested, then finally pushed ourselves to the top of the saddle at about 4400m and right under Sincholagua, where we were able to re-orient ourselves to the trek`s directions and map. We then crossed to another high pass, had lunch and began to descend into a long, wide valley towards Cotopaxi National Park.

All the morning we had been observing from various .................... angles the dark and gothic crags and shapes of Sincholagua. A clinging fog added impressive visual effects - I think it`s the coolest mountain I`ve ever seen. Cascading down and across our trail were rivers of red erosion scree which we traversed with caution. We saw many soaring raptors around the mountain but pretty sure none were big enough to be condors.

We followed a track down gently at first, then turning to a knee-punishing steep decline as we approached the northern boundary of the park, the Pita River. By then we were both wrecked, but ignored the excellent campsites and abandoned parks office and as such avoided the hefty park entry fee. Our next leg followed a long and wide strew of volcanic rocks to the south-west. We trudged wearily along various roads and creeks as they wound through the valley, slowly passing in front of Cotopaxi with its massive base capped in thick grey cloud. We eventually came to Lake Limpiopungo, a haven for wetland birds and other biodiversity, situated between the three peaks of Rumiñuahi and of course `The Big C` as its not really known. We ignored a few bus-loads of foppish tourists who pansied about looking at stuff and talking and also ignored the `no camping` sign to pitch tent next to the shallow, flat and extensive lake. We gratefully made use of a rain-free afternoon to dry out our lives. Later after our contemporary Australian cuisine of a modern fusion of rice, peanut butter and salt, Luke scored only about 50% with his long-anticipated popcorn, abandoning the cause due to the severe burning. As I lay awaiting sleep, distant mute lightning and the sound of nocturnal avians winging above us kept me entertained.

In the morning there was a gigantic canyon had appeared right in front of our tent. It turned out to be a mirage, mountains reflected in the mirror-glass surface of the lake. Cotopaxi stayed shrouded in mist as we set off early to avoid illegal camping complications. The gentle downhill wound past pine plantations, legitimate and decidedly better campsites and the park museum and restaurant. As we were pondering aloud the best way to avoid any contact with park rangers and having to explain our lack of entry receipt, Luke casually flagged down some passing American climbers and their brand new 4wd. They drove us all the way to and through the park entrance and through to the highway town of Lasso and we cruised on past the officials as they humbly let down the gate to let the rich gringos through with a deferrent smile, wave and `yes boss` thank you very much. Our 70km hike had come to an end in comfort.

Canoa - Quito - El Tambo: 25/04 - 27/04

I caught the early bus back to Quito and Maple from Canoa, getting in trouble with Mr. Bus Man for having my feet on the seat. Naughty me. But the bus depot was in Mariscal, so I got to walk home. I caught up with my trekking partner Luke from Melbourne to arrange logistics for the forthcoming adventure and participated in the chocloate and coffee ritual with Kelsey my June 8 birthday sister who was off to the jungle to hunt jaguars.

I was very tired for our Tuesday start after the gym, an early start and the mental strain of packing, but met Luke at SAE where he lived and we set out to El Tambo. On the uneventful bus trip we passed through the scenic beauty of the Cayambe-Coca Ecological Reserve before arriving at El Tambo, a one-horse town at almost 4000m of altitude, where it was raining.